If you think Porn is objectionable, you have to hate chick flicks.

I. Bushwick Bill is fucking awesome

I start this installment by saying that Bushwick Bill is fucking awesome. He was part of the Geto Boys, a group that did songs like "Damn it Feels Good to be a Gangsta" (from Office Space) and "My Mind is Playing Tricks on Me." And oh by the way, he is a One Eyed Midget!

Check out the video, even if you hate rap, you'll have to admit the song is good.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KutXyPEEbQs

II. If you hate Porn, you should hate Chick Flicks.

Many people, mostly women, say porn is objectionable. These same people have no qualms with chick flicks. I put it to you, that all the objections people have about porn. Chick Flicks are just as offensive to men as porn is to women.

Hugh Grant is the male equivalent of a porn stareltte.

Common Porn Objection #1: Women in Porn are "fake"

Many people say porn is "wrong" because the women in porn are fake. Nobody is going to deny porn starlettes like Jenna Jameson above are sporting a "natural look." They say porn creates unreasonable expectations about what a woman should be.

Are these same people going to say that the men in chick flicks are real? They may not alter their bodies, but they are certainly altering their mannerisms. Guys in chick flicks never watch football, never drink beer, and never look at other women. This is not real.

Real guys like watching football, they like drinking beer, and they cannot help but notice an incredible pair of tits when it walks past them. If you are going to criticize porn for churning out a generation of men that think real women are supposed to have spherical cantaloupe sizede breasts and hairless vaginas, you have to criticize chick flicks for misleading generations of women into thinking that all men would much rather sit and talk about feeling than watch a football game.

Common Porn Objection #2: Porn Objectifies Women

People who claim porn is wrong say it portrays women as pieces of meat. There is some truth to this. The hopes, dreams, wants, and desires of the women in the movies are irrelevant unless they coincide with the fantasy. Porn does not care if the female "character" achieves fullfillment unless said fullfillment involves having her orafices stuffed. That is not to say chick flicks do not objectify men.



Just as porn portrays women as sperm recepticles, chick flicks portray men as ATM machines. Men in chick flicks exist to buy the female protagonists shit. The hopes, dreams, and aspirations of are irrelevant in chick flicks unless they coincide with the fantasy. Chick flicks do not care how the male "character" achieves fullfillment unless said fullfillment involves buying the female protagonist shit.

Common Porn Objection #3: Porn is childish

Porn is childish. It does cater to the adolescent mind. It does oversimplify male-female relationships. But so do chick flicks. There is no nuanced view of the dynamic in male-female relationships in chick flicks. Male-female relationships in chick flicks are one-sided and symplistic, just like in porn.

Prologue

I am not trying to say porn or chick flicks are wrong. They are both fantasy. Men pretty much understand that porn is fantasy. I know I will never be accosted by a gang of nymphomaniac brazillian women who lack of gag reflex.

Many women do not seem to get this, though. Many think that every man is and should be like Hugh Grant. The fact of the matter is, Hugh Grant is not like Hugh Grant. He got caught with some nasty prostitute. These same women that cannot distinguish reality from fantasy, are the same that hate porn. Maybe it is because they cannot distinguish fantasy from reality and see porn as an alternate "reality" that threatens them. Or perhaps they cannot trust others to distinguish reality from fantasy because they themselves are incapable of doing so.

Whatever people's true motives are for hating porn, it is hypocritical to bash porn while tolerating other forms of fantasy.