Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Special Guest Blogger

This week, Telly from Sesame Street will be filling in for yours truly.

Hi all. I would like to thank wirldzlamest for giving me this forum. As we enter this holdiday season, we should express our appreciation to ALL those people who make our world a good place.
You see, in this world of ours, some of us get the sugar and some of us get the shit.

In football, the quarterbacks get all the attention. Even though the game is really won in the trenches along the line of scrimmage.

We do not throw any victory parades Linemen. It seems they do all the pushing, the bash their brains in and get jack shit. Of course, this does not just occur in football, but on Sesame Street as well.

Elmo is a prime example of a douchebag that gets way too much attention and praise. Sure he is talented, but the little son of a bitch thinks the whole world revolves around him. The planet we live on is called E-A-R-T-H not "la la la la Elmo's World."
Sesame Street revolves around its sponsors, not Elmo. The sponsors do not care if "Elmo want to play with the Ball" or "Elmo want to go outside." The sponsors want you to plug their product, plain and simple.
When I get on the air I SELL SELL SELL!! If you want me to sell the letter M, I will sell the fuck out of theletter M. You WILL KNOW that letter M stands for Milk, Meat, Mittens, and Monkeys. You will think M is the best god damn fucking letter in the alphabet. You will crim in your pants when somebody says Milk. I watch elmo and have no fucking idea that M is even the fucking letter of the day.
Yet I get shit on and have to scrap for air time that I use to fucking move product, while Elmo is stuck in his own world talking about his own shit. When he gets on the air, he won't even tell you letter M even exists, let alone why it is a decent letter worth learning.

I am not the only one that has been fucked over on Sesame Street, Count has been treated like shit too and has been underutilized IMHO. Count approaches this busines with a burning passion that NOBODY has. Count lives, eats, breathes, and sleeps numbers. Unfortunately, they moved him away from the central office on Sesame Street and put him way the fuck out in Transylvania.

Big Bird is a stupid twat that gets way too much credit and who does jack shit. It was his great fucking idea to sink all that money into the god damn toaster repair shop. Everybody new the fucking Chinese were going to come and blow the shit out of the toaster market.

Oscar is a guy that has been completely shit on. People think he has a shitty attitude, but anybody would have a shitty attitude if they were in Oscar's position. The guy lives in a fucking trash can. He gets soiled diapers, bloody tampons, and condoms covered with Ernie's shit and filled with Bert's jizz dumped on his head everyday. I think Oscar has a great fucking attitude all things considered.
People that shit on Oscar don't even know the half of his story. "Oscar the Grouch" is really Allister Wilson, a Cambridge trained actor that won critical acclaim for his performances during Sumerstock. He fell on hard times after a barbituate addiction literally left him in the gutter. He is 12 stepping, taking one day at a time and the fucker has courage. And everybody on Sesame street says HE has a pissy attitude...fuck them

Ernie is the laziest son of a bitch I ever met. All he does is sit in his bath tub with his rubber ducky. The only reason why he's on the show is because he fucks Bert, and Bert's uncle is the producer.

Grover is a hard working son of a bitch that takes a lot of physical abuse for the show, but he too gets spit on. One time Grover was in so much pain, the fucker could not even stand up. The Directors asked Cookie Monster to be his body double and fall into some trash cans. Cookie Monster said, "Fuck you, that's not in my contract." Grover sucked it up and took the dive, herniating 3 disks in his neck. you got to show some love to Grover and you gotta show some love to all "the little people" that make this world work!

No comments:

Post a Comment