Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Birth Control Practices of TV Dads

Ever wonder about the birth control practices of TV dads? It is self evident that at least some TV dads had to practice some sort of birth control, yet you never hear about it. You never watch home improvement and hear about Tim Allen going on a condom run or nutting on his wife's face. With that, I give you Birth Control Practices of TV dads.

When you talk about TV dads, Mike Brady has to come into the conversation. He obviously had to practice some sort of birth control. He had six kids (only 3 biological) living in a 4 bedroom house. If he had anymore, they would have to kick Alice the maid out or convert Greg's attic bachelor pad into a nursery. How did Mike Brady not plant his seed in Mrs. Brady's fecund haunches?
Simple, he didn't. Mike Brady was as queer as a three dollar bill. Unfortunately, he should have used condoms.
Ward Cleaver on the other hand was a 100% heterosexual male. He loved pussy so much he named his kid Beaver. Mrs. Cleaver was a total fox, with her pert tits that could cut glass, apple ass, and allibaster skin. You know Ward was pounding the shit out of her every night, yet the birth control pill was not yet invented and Ward was a no-nonsense guy that would not fuck around with condoms. So what did Ward do?
He nutted on Mrs. Cleaver's face. That is why she had such a great complexion.
The dad on Good Times needed to practice birth control. He lived in a 2 bedroom tenement with two boys sharing the couch in the living room. There was absolutely no room for another kid.
Ye these people were dirt poor. They could barely afford to eat, let alone buy condoms or birth control pills. What did the dad on good times use for birth control?
His birth control was Esther Rolle. I challenge you to go out look at the best porn ever made, make out with the hottest woman you ever saw....and her sister...then just when you are about to bust a nut, look at a picture of Esther Rolle. Your hard on will crumble like the World Trade Center.
Bill Cosby is probably the only notable TV dad who did not practice birth control. Look at all his fucking kids. Of course, Denise was way too light skinned which makes me wonder if Mrs. Huxtable was using a condom when she was getting it on with Petey's dad.

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