Wednesday, December 26, 2012

The Mayan Apocalypse Is in Progress....

A lot of you dip shits think that the whole Maya apocalypse thing was a joke.  The fact of the matter is that the shit is hitting the fan as we speak and we are all doomed.  The world took billions of years to form, human civilization took thousands of years to evolve.  Do you think the lights would go out at the strike of midnight at the world would vaporize in one second?  Hell no.

When a building is demolished, it may take the explosives a couple seconds to reduce the building to rubble after somebody flips the switch. However, it takes several days of planning and work for the demolition experts to plant the explosives and know where to put them.  Well the Mayan apocalypse is in progress.  Need proof....well here it is....


10.  The Clipper are the best team in the NBA right now winning 14 straight games and the Lakers are barely at .500.  You still might find 20 A-list celebrities in rows 55-70 at a Lakers' game, and the Clippers cannot even give away court side seats.  I do not want to shit on the Lakers, but on defense they look like a bunch of teamsters going up against Seal Team 6- mismatched, uninspired, and flat footed.

9.  Fiscal cliff....nuff said.

8.  The camel won...
and we are all going to hell for laughing at this shit.

7.  1 billion people wasted 4 minutes of their lives watching this retard and only 10 of them picked up on the fact that Psy was a  gay corky.

6.  This guy is close to getting a nuclear bomb.  Republicans are more likely than Democrats in thinking somebody needs to do something so not just anybody can get a nuclear bomb.
File:Mahmoud Ahmadinejad 2009.jpg

5.  This guy got his hands on some high caliber assault rifles.  Democrats are more likely than Republicans in thinking somebody needs to do something so not just anybody can get a high caliber assault rifle.
File:Jared Loughner sheriff's office.jpg

4.  There are at least five reality shows on cable TV dedicated to following the lives of people who make cakes.  

3.  The reservoirs are drying up because everybody has 10,000 gallons of water stored at their bug out locations.

2.  These individuals are procreating at an alarming rate and creating a race of three-thumbed retarded red neck babies.  I hold little hope for dear sweet Honey Boo Boo.  I would like to be optimistic and say she will lose her virginity to some sleazy pageant judge some time between her 11th and 13th birthday.  Unfortunately, some 3 toothed cousin of hers is going to knock her up before the end of FY14 and I she will have to show for it is a Lynard Skinner T shirt her cousin got from the dump and shoved into her mouth so she would not scream like Glitzy.

File:Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.jpg

1.  Twinkies are extinct.

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