Friday, December 28, 2012

I am with the NRA on this one...sort of


In the wake of the Connecticut shooting, a lot of people are talking about gun control.  Some people are talking about banning all or some guns and others are talking about background checks.

Don't get me wrong.  I know the equation:
a moron +  a gun = gun death
a moron + assault rifle = many gun deaths.
And since we cannot get rid of all the morons (or can we?), it seems sensible to lower the gun deaths by getting rid of the guns.  I hear you.

The NRA came out, and in a really tasteless manner tried to suggest a different equation
a moron + a gun + a "good guy" + a gun = no death
This does not seem to work either.  We basically have to find a "good guy" every time a moron comes into contact with a gun to prevent death.  There are plenty of morons, plenty of guns, but very few "good guys" who will not shit their pants the second some moron comes in with an assault rifle and starts blasting shit up.  Another problem with this is that at least half the morons out there think they are "good guys."

I kind of get where the NRA is coming from when they talk about freedom and that freedom has its price.  We live in a country where dirtbags get away with shit so that we can all be more free.
File:O.J. Simpson 1990 · DN-ST-91-03444 crop.JPEG
As the reasoning goes, if a dirt bag like OJ Simpson gets a "fair trial" then good ordinary folks like you and I will not get railroaded.  If the police have to get a warrant before they search Jeffrey Dahmer's home, then they will not be barging in on the private lives of people like you and I.

The NRA says we need to have free access to guns and all sorts of other shit, for among other reasons, so hunters can enjoy hunting.  So what if a few dozen people who are in the wrong place at the wrong time have to have bullets ricocheting around their abdominal cavities, the 10% of the country or so that likes to go hunting has to be able to bag a deer...Believe it or not, I can sympathize.

You see, the greatest and most nobel sport of all is dwarf tossing.

Dwarf tossing is illegal in many locales and there are some strong socio-political pressures that make it virtually illegal in almost all locales.  It is illegal because it happens to offend some people who have the choice not to go to a bar or other venue where a competition is taking place.

If dozens of innocent people have to get slaughtered so hunters can enjoy hunting, then a few uppity cunts who have sticks up their asses should be offended by something they can chose to ignore should get offended. That way you, I, and countless other Americans can enjoy the sport, the art, the poetry that is dwarf tossing can truly be free.

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