The Octomom walks into a bar with a midget in a medieval torture rack. The midget's arms and legs are manacled and being pulled.
Someone asked Octomom what she was doing with the midget. She answered....
Now when people see me they will say, "There goes that woman with the stretched out runt."
The Octomom goes into a psychiatrist's office and tells the shrink,
"I am under so much stress. Everywhere I go people point at me and laugh."
The shrink says "Well, you are an infamous celebrity. Maybe you should wear a disguise."
The octomom says , "I never the leave the house without a wig and sunglasses. People still mock me. "
The shrink says, "I cannot help you, but I will have to charge you $400."
The octomom says, "Why $400?"
The shrink says, "I will have to charge you $30 for ten minutes of my time and $370 for the stain your snatch made when you dragged it across my rug."
II. Someone has to hate Obama...why not me?
For the record, I voted for Obama and I hope he does a good job. Afterall, if he fucks up everybody on this planet is screwed. I think he should be commended for some of his accomplishments. For example, he has done good work in beginning to restore the USA's credibility on the international stage.
That being said, Obama needs some opposition. Democracy is healthy whenever there is a credible adversary keeeping the party in power in check. Currently, the only people that seem to be speaking out against Obama are that pill popping fat bastard Ruch Limbaugh and that stupid bitch Sarah Palin.
That being said, I will dedicate my blog to being the loyal opposition to Obama. I feel I have more to offer than Rush Limbaugh or Sarah Palin. First of all, I am aware that being able to see Russia from your house and being able to take your kids to hockey practice does not qualify you to be a cashier at Arby's, let alone leader of the free fucking world. Second, I am knowledgeable enough about science to know that dinosaurs existed, the universe is older than 6000 years old, and carbon emmisions are a cause for concern.
So if anybody has any credible beefs or disagreements with the Obama administration, please feel free to air them out here.