Tuesday, September 29, 2009

The Pharmaceutical Game and Jamarcus Russell sucks

I. The Pharmaceutical Game
This little quiz will test your knowledge of pharmaceuticals. You must guess which item listed is a condition the medication treats or prevents, and which item listed is a side effect of the pharmaceutical. For example,
Impotence /Blurred Vision
Viagra treats impotence, and a side effect is blurred vision.
That one was easy, the rest may be hard. Answers are on the bottom of the page. Remember kids, the drugs you grown in your garden are all bad! The ones with the Pfizer label on them are completely wholesome!
1. Replax
Headache /Heartattacks
2. Detrol
Constipation /Incontinence
3. Avodart
Impotence /Frequent urination
4. Paxil
Suicidal thoughts /Depression
5. Requip
Restless leg Sydrome /Hallucinations
6. Jack Daniels
Waking up next to fat chicks /Feeling disgusted with your station in life
II. Jamarcus Russell Sucks
This is the most flattering picture of Jamarcus Russel I could find.
An elementary school teacher in Oakland had her students get up in front of the class and tell everybody what their father's did.
The first kid got up and said, "My dad works a McDonald's. He makes hamburgers and french fries."
The second kid got up and said, "My dad is a bus driver. He drives the bus."
JaMarcus Jr. got up and said, "My dad sings in a transvestite review. After the shows he performs blow jobs on the audience for tips. He also likes to let people fuck him in the ass for money at rest stops."
The teacher was shocked. She pulled JaMarcus Jr. aside and asked if what he said was true.
JaMarcus Jr. said, "No it was not. It's just that my dad is the Raiders Quarterback and I am too ashamed to admit it."
Jamarcus Russell went to a massage parlor to get a hand job. He asked the masseuse how much a hand job would cost. The masseuse said, "normally I charge my customers $100, but for you it will be $10,000."
Russel asked, "Why do I have to pay so much?"
The masseuse replied, "I am not a Defensive Back, so it will be almost impossible to place your balls near my hands."
JaMarcus Russell, Nandi Asomugha, and Darren McFadden all went to a high school in Oakland to give a pep talk to some kids. The kids came from the toughest part of Oakland and had all sorts of problems.
McFadden told the kids that he grew up in a rough neighborhood just like them, but he was able to make it because he stayed in school. He told the kids to study hard. One kid, who was thinking of dropping out of school, was so moved by the speech he walked out of the room so he could go to the library and study so he could finish high school, got to college, and be just like McFadden.
Asomugha told the kids that he had it tough too and he was able to become one of the best football players in the NFL by staying out of trouble with the law. One kid, who happened to be a gang member, was so moved by the speech he walked out of the room so he could tell his fellow gang members he was leaving the gang so he could be just like Asomugha.
Jamarcus Russell told the kids he was who he is today because he stayed away from drugs. A Downs Syndrome Kid in a wheelchair reached for a crack pipe.
III. Answers to the Pharmacuetical Game
1. Replax treats headache, heart attacks are potential side effect.
2. Detrol treats incontinence, constipation is a side effect.
3. Avodart treats frequent urination, a side effect is impotence.
4. Paxil treats depression, suicidal thoughts can be a side effect.
5. Requip treats restless leg sydrome, hallucinations can be a side effect.
6. Both answers receive full credit

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